2020 Scorpio season begins...
As I was driving to Portland
I had a strange realization.
Back in 2019
Inner Sounds was on a major roll,
selling out event after event.
Despite sell-out after sell-out,
before each event
I spent 29 days fearing
it would not sell out,
the theme sucks,
people won't show,
etc.
My mind found a
thousand little things
to be afraid of.
After worrying for 29 days,
the event would
finally arrive and
for a few sparse hours
I would feel fantastic.
Me and my team of volunteers would hoot and holler victoriously and then go celebrate with sangrias and tacos (oh those were the days...sigh).
The very next day, I’d
immediately loop back into fear
and stay there
for another 29 days.
Let's put this into a ratio,
and say, it was
60% fear, everything is gonna go wrong
40% everything's gonna be fine
because I invested so much time
in fear and spent zero time on the feel good, it’s all gonna be okay 60%,
the mental odds were much much
higher.
As in, even if our
actual fear is small,
if we invest a TON
of time in it,
it occupies way more than
the space in our mind
than it should.
Does that make sense?
I'm not sure I'm explaining it well
but this was a mindblowing revelation to me.
If I only spend time cultivating and tending to this fear
and don’t invest at least the same time and energy growing the hope,
I’m always going to be unstable
and leaning toward
in some cases,
excess
anxiety and stress.
Most of my fears around live events
were totally
unfounded.
There were mountains of evidence to the contrary
that I appeared to be able to completely ignore.
This particular fear isn't resolvable.
It is one of those childhood tags that I can't seem to erase
BUT
I am completely empowered
to contain it.
Time box it.
And make a stronger resolve to stay in
the hope/good stuff for longer periods.
This might feel a little
forced or fake
in the beginning, as
personal change
often does.
Regardless of how weird it might feel, I am
compelled to at least try and slay
the mind-killer.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
(Isn't that Dune quote by Frank Herbert so RAD. I love the idea of turning your inner eye on fear to make sure it has gone - YES!!)
As with the quote above,
I am
happy to invite fear into my house,
give it some tea,
and then after a reasonable spell,
ask it to leave out the back door.
Keeping with this analogy, last year,
I invited fear over, fed it an elaborate dinner, tucked it in so it could spend the night and served it breakfast the next morning. Cycle repeat.
Let's frame this in a real life scenario.
The election.
Predictions say it will be an
88% landslide,
so a wimpy 12% likelihood of Trump's win,
yet,
we invest a lot of time
fearing
that 12%.
We agonize over the what ifs…
We fret over what might happen.
Our blood pressures continually shoot through the roof just thinking about
another four years.
Despite all logic and an 88% lead and a LOT of astrological support,
we are
deeply fearful
of that small chance outcome.
Like an uncontrollable reflex,
it is so hard
to not feel afraid.
Sure, maybe we have a lot of good reason, for example,
the pure shock of
what happened in 2016.
But, is that fear held to the 12% of actuality?
And do we every give ourselves
a chance to
feel
88% excited.
I noticed that ratio wasn’t true for me, so I decided to timebox
my nightmare fears
into a 12% container.
And, increase my hope, excitement, and chance of true change
by 50% which felt like a good achievable starting point (vs wanting 88%).
To help you steel yourself further into the good, here is an
election sound survival kit
designed special for you.
This is a moment to transform
your relationship
to fear
and root yourself in
what you believe.
There is a beam of light
slicing through the darkness
right now,
carving out the future.
As we enter the last phase of the year
and dive into the underworld depth
of Scorpio.
Represented by the scorpion, which has the ability to shed its skin, Scorpio represents
the alchemy of transformation.
Scorpio’s ruling planet is also Pluto which has played a starring role
in 2020.
The planets that began their game of criss-cross in January are on their third and final round and are finally moving on and coming to a close.
Flash insights
and integration
rule this
closing energy.
We’ve got extra support to transform,
rebalance,
and investigate depths of what we fear
with the power of the
scorpio sun.
May we be
unflinching
as we hone
in on the laser of
the future.
Go Biden!
xoxo
M
image credit: unknown :(